I falsely accept, that because it has always been done this way it has to be done this way now too. I falsely accept "it is the way it is and there is nothing you can do about it". 

I falsely accept that the planet that I call my mother, that gave me life, is getting destroyed, ripped open and apart, robbed and abused. I falsely accept that every day we kill another 150 species that will never return to life on earth. Gone. I falsely accept that the bees are dying. I falsely accept that our seas and rivers are getting poisoned and emptier with every minute. I falsely accept that trees, standing tall for ages, filling our atmosphere with oxygen for all of us to breathe are being ripped out of the ground and shredded into pieces to make space for agricultural use and new shopping malls. I falsely accept that male chickens are being shredded too and cows and pigs are fattened up and pumped up with antibiotics for slaughter and treated like they were never alive anyways, just so we can have scrambled eggs, chicken nuggets and juicy burger patties. I falsely accept that soon there will be no more ice bears, elephants, rhinos, whales, coral reefs, jungles, deep forests and fertile soils and grounds. 

I falsely accept that old white men decide about that.

I falsely accept that I can´t do nothing about that. 

I falsely accept that children are put into school,where they are being ripped of their feelings their creativity, their uniqueness,and their aliveness. Where they are being told they are too much and not good enough where they are bombarded with intellectual knowledge until their heads are so heavy, they can´t bare it anymore. Where no one teaches you how to feel, how to relate to others how to communicate and how to be responsible. Where there are teachers who themselves never learned to do that.

I falsely accept school as a zombie creating machine. 

I falsely accept, that what I have others don´t. I falsely accept the game of I win you loose and you win I loose. I falsely accept that Iam sitting in the comfort of my own apartment while others are hand in hand drowning in the ocean on their way to a better life. I falsely accept that there is war on the surface of this planet. That cities are being bombed away and buried in ashes and blood. I falsely accept that children, woman and men are dying, and families are being ripped apart because some reckless, power hungry psychopaths who create and hold up hierarchy are playing irresponsible games. I falsely accept capitalism and patriarchy.

I falsely accept that money rules this world I amliving in. That I am made to feel less, so that I buy more. That my attentionis being abused by companies to trick me into being a better consumer. That we are made to feel we always lack something, and scarcity reigns our behaviour. I falsely accept that we cannot see the abundance that there is for each and every one of us. I falsely accept "making money" as my main goal in life and I falsely accept it is my friends’ main goal too. I falsely accept the stress for my 5 bodies and other humans 5 bodies this goal brings. I falsely accept breakdowns and burn outs in people who are under 25 years old. I falsely accept that what belongs to me doesn´t belong to you and the other way around. I falsely accept that there are billionaires in this world. I falsely accept the hostile and brutal system called capitalism. 

I falsely accept that as a woman, I am not meant to be treated like men are. I falsely accept that my body is a canvas for opinions and fantasies, that there is this ideal version of how I am supposed to look like and be like that follows me even into my dreams whispering harsh and mean words into my ears. I falsely accept that I am supposed to stay small and nice and pretty. That my wildness and my magic need to be hidden and compromised so that I am not a threat. I falsely accept that I have been burned, drowned, and killed for being a woman. I falsely accept that men rape and abuse and kill woman, girls, and boys. I falsely accept that as soon as I stepped into this world my body didn´t really belong to me and has been public property for everyone to grab, hit, lust after, to sully and to rape. I falsely accept that he hit me in the face. I falsely accept he raped me. I falsely accept he put his hands between my legs while I was dancing with my friends. I falsely accept that he put his hand between my legs on the very packed train. I falsely accept that he came on me on the empty train. I falsely accept that he stalked me, threatened me, smelled my hair, waited for me everywhere in the city and didn´t stop calling me his angel. I falsely accept that he pressed my head down although I didn´t want to and I falsely accept he kissed me with his old men’s and alcohol drenched mouth. I falsely accept that I am scared when I leave my house and I falsely accept that I am scared on my way back. I falsely accept I feel scared for my friends too. I falsely accept that I have no idea anymore of how to relate to men because I enter survival mode and put on a show. I falsely accept that I can´t have authentic relationships and no sex that is not a show or an act of revenge. I falsely accept that I am not the only one. I falsely accept that I am a victim. I falsely accept patriarchy.

I falsely accept that I am alone. I falsely accept that I am so scared of conflict that I shut my mouth. I falsely accept that Iam desperately trying to make everyone love me so that they can´t leave me. I falsely accept people using me as a doormat, a trash can, their punching ball, or their soft pillow to lie down on and make them feel good. I falsely accept that I am not with the people that I want to be with and not in the relationships I want to be in. I falsely accept that I act out a different version of myself with everyone I am with and therefore can never be seen the way I am and therefore can feel unseen. I falsely accept that I am a victim and that I can´t do nothing about it.

I falsely accept that I can´t put the shit on the table. That I am unable to speak about the things I see and feel and that instead I rescue everyone around me all the time. 

I falsely accept  everyone´s problem as my own and I give my centre away to everyone and everything before they even asked. I falsely accept being everyone´s mom. I falsely accept being my mom´s mom. I falsely accept that people like being around me because my survival strategy makes me comfortable and nice, them feel loved and supported. I falsely accept that I created that.

I falsely accept being overwhelmed and confused. I falsely accept that I sometimes feel like I am going crazy and that I get so scared that I can´t breathe. I falsely accept that I get so angry that I don´t know what else to do than hurt myself. I falsely accept that I get so sad that I can´t move for days. I falsely accept that I am too much for anyone to handle so I´d rather be alone. I falsely accept that I am unlovable. I falsely accept that what I came into this world with is useless and not wanted. I falsely accept that I am denying myself to be who I am and live life according to what really turns me on and excites me. I falsely accept that I need to hide and stay small. I falsely accept that I am a victim and I can´t do anything about it. I falsely accept that what burns inside me and desperately wants to go out and shine and create needs to be hidden under layers and layers of bullshit. I falsely accept I am not really alive. 

And what falsely accepting means is that to hold this false acceptance up and to stay with it, I sacrifice my anger and my power, my energy, my heart and creativity and my life to put all of it into this turmoil and fight within myself for falsely accepting all of this bullshit just to survive. Falsely accepting things costs a lot. 

What do you falsely accept and what does it cost you?